YOUR BLACK BEAUTY: BLACK MEN'S INDIFFERENCE, ABANDONMENT, AND REJECTION
If Black women can achieve their beauty potential simply by wearing a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM, then why have they not DONE so? They have not done so partly because they fear Black male indifference, abandonment, and rejection.
Black men, Black women fear your indifference: you caring LITTLE about the risk they take to relaxed or curly perm their natural coily hair. Many Black women feel you ADORE long, straight, especially blonde hair. Wanting you to love their hair, Black women risk their health, finances, emotions, AND reputations using ONE of the haircare industry’s MOST HAIR-DISSOLVING CHEMICALS-relaxers and curly perms-to make their natural, coily hair resemble the hair many of YOU adore: THAT LONG, STRAIGHT, AND ESPECIALLY BLONDE HAIR. Their decision subjects them to exorbitant, time-consuming, and unpredictable haircare results PLUS harm to their bodies, emotions, reputations, and family budget. Just think about this: Black women take these risks with you expressing LITTLE appreciation for them doing so.
Like your indifference, Black women fear abandonment: feeling totally alone, disappointed, hurt, angry, and especially NOT SUPPORTED while their relaxed and curly perm hairstyling subject them to obesity, dermatitis, cancers, fibroids, early puberty, and public and private, subtle and blatant shaming through statements like the following ones:
“I only date women with long, straight hair”.
“No woman of mine will wear hair shorter than mine”.
“Your short natural hair makes you look like a man”.
“Your short natural hair makes you look gay”.
“You are too fat and dark to wear natural hair”.
“As a pastor, my First Lady must wear a relaxed hairstyle”.
“All professional Black women wear relaxed hair. It’s part of their dress code”.
Black women endure their feelings of abandonment HOPING to eventually please you: to alter their natural coily hair so, in form and fashion, it resembles your adored long, straight, and especially blonde hair. Unfortunately, their “hope does not spring eternal” since their failed efforts to make their natural coily hair resemble your adored long, straight, and especially blonde hair UNIQUELY leave them feeling unwanted, disrespected, ugly, and alone.
Black women also fear Black male rejection. They fear if they wear a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM, Black men sexually will withdraw from them, INTENTIONALLY AVOID public outings with them, give fewer compliments about their physical beauty, avoid prolonged eye contact on them, look at them with a “stank” or “what-is-wrong-with-you” face, or not let their male friends see them. NO EXAGGERATION HERE! Many Black women have admitted their husbands exhibiting these behaviors when they stopped wearing relaxed and curly perm hairstyles.
Black men, you NOW can better understand why Black women feel insecure and sensitive about their natural coily hair. Relaxers and curly perms render Black women helpless in turning their natural coily hair into YOUR ADORED long, straight, especially blond hair. No matter the time and money invested, hair techniques used, or hair professionals employed, Black women can never make their natural coily hair behave or resemble your adored long, straight, and especially blonde hair.
AND THEY NEVER SHOULD!
Relaxers and curly perms only give Black women the power to DESTROY their natural coily hair. How so? Relaxers and curly perms behave JUST LIKE drain cleaners. All three products contain the same hair-dissolving ingredients. They differ ONLY in their speed to dissolve hair. Drain cleaners quickly dissolve hair. Relaxer and curly perms slowly dissolve it. First, Relaxer and curly perms deplete coily hair’s moisture and protein content. Then they reshape coily hair strands into straight ones. Finally, they dissolve the straighten hair. Simply put, relaxers and curly perms straighten hair BEFORE dissolving it.
Black men, in light of relaxers, curly perms and drain cleaners’ true behavior, you should not expect Black women to risk their health, finances, emotions, and reputations to wear relaxed and curly perm hairstyles. Those hairstyles stand both chemically and physically UNABLE to mimic the true nature of your adored long, straight, and especially blonde hair. The relaxing and curly perming processes leave their natural coily hair TOO MOISTURE AND PROTEIN DEPLETED to do so. EXPECTING otherwise makes you inconsiderate and unreasonable. DEMANDING otherwise makes you CRUEL!
So Black men, let us address and resolve their hair issues. Black women no longer will fear your indifference, abandonment, and rejection, or struggle with their hair insensitivities and insecurities IF you take CERTAIN steps to make them feel recognized, praised, respected, beautiful, and adored. Your FIRST step to make this happen is this: accept partial responsibility for the hate, shame, and embarrassment they feel about their natural coily hair. Yes, Black men, YOU! Why must YOU accept partial responsibility for THEIR feelings? Their hair insecurities and sensitivities partly LIE WITH YOU! No way, you say! Yes Way! You PARTICIPATED in society’s adoration of long, straight, and especially blonde hair. You publicly and privately, subtly and blatantly FAVORED long, straight, and especially blonde hair MORE THAN their natural coily hair. Consequently, your actions prompted many Black women to deeply develop sensitivities and insecurities about their natural coily hair. YES, YOU DID THAT! Do not deny it. Too many witnesses and too much evidence will make fools of your efforts to deny it. Just admit it! You did that and because you did, as some say, “YOU HAVE SKIN IN THIS GAME”!
Unfortunately, you have GUILTY skin in the game. However, do not totally blame yourself for this situation. Please, cut yourself a little slack. This situation is NOT TOTALLY your fault. You can PARTIALLY CHARGE SOCIETY with playing a huge part in you adoring long, straight, and especially blonde hair. You ADORE that hair type NOT because it genuinely stands superior to all other, but because society taught, influenced, and tricked you INTO adoring that hair type. Society has used its magnificently influential marketing machine to relentlessly flood your eyes, ears, and mind with images of beautiful long, straight, blonde hair, consequently fooling you into believing that hair type represents superior hair, the HAIR OF CHOICE for all so-called PROFESSIONAL Black women, especially for all so-called HIGH SOCIETY Black women. Do not feel alone. That magnificently influential marketing machine has fooled MANY Black men into thinking that way.
Instead of letting that influential marketing machine continue to strongly influence your tastes in hairstyles, get informed, educated, WOKE about the following truth: only bald heads, Afros, and SisterlocksTM can flawlessly accentuate, highlight, compliment, and harmonize with Black women’s physical beauty. WILLFULLY believe this truth and forever do your best to convince Black women(especially their daughters) to believe the same. How do you start?
Let me give you a simple approach and script to follow when discussing haircare with Black women. For example, take your woman to a quiet place, secluded from family, children, friends, and all media: TV, cell phones, laptops, I-pads, and all other electronic devices. Prepare or have someone prepare her favorite meal, dine with her, and after an hour of relaxing conversation, ask for her UNDIVIDED attention. When she gives it to you, in your WARMEST BUT SINCEREST voice, say the following words:
“Babe, PLEASE stop wearing relaxed, curly perm, weave, and wig hairstyles. Instead, please consider wearing a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM. I would LOVE to see you looking and feeling your very best. PLEASE forgive me for not realizing your efforts to maintain relaxed, curly perm, and weaved hairstyles. I now BETTER understand the dangers of you continuing to do so.”
You are saying to yourself, WHY MUST I GO TO THESE LENGTHS? Understand this: the hair of Black women has endured the vilest, most horrendous, inhumane, unforgettable abuse and name calling imaginable. Both subtly and blatantly, public and privately, society has spewed names like bee dee bees, cranaps, brillo pad, tumble weed, wooly, bebe shots, be da bees, bushy, bad, difficult, kinky, nappy, and knotty to heinously describe the FALSE NATURE of her hair. No one OF SOUND MIND can blame Black women for carrying sensitivities and insecurities about their hair. So Black men, BE THEIR SAVIOR! Help them eliminate their hair sensitivities and insecurities. How do you do that? You do that with your acceptance, approval, and support. Approve, accept, and support their decision to wear a bald head, an Afro or SisterlocksTM. Believe it or not, Black women INTENSELY DESIRE your adoration. Black men’s adoration, especially their approval, acceptance, and support GREATLY matter to them. They will feel adored IF you approve, accept, and support their wearing a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM. With GREAT ENTHUSIASM, express your acceptance, approval, and support of their wearing those hairstyles. DARE even to reveal your hairstyle choice! For example, say this:
“Hey Babe, I secretly have always adored short Afros on Black women. You will look gorgeous wearing a short Afro. Your beautiful skin and voluptuous lips are my favorite facial features. A short Afro will highlight them. Also think about how wearing one will shorten the time you need to dress in the morning and free up more time to drink your morning coffee.”
OK, you understand better their hair issues. You also have scripts for capturing her undivided attention and tactfully communicating your intentions. Now, PUT THESE SKILLS TO WORK so Black women cannot accuse you of standing in the way of their wearing their best hairstyles and realizing their beauty potential.
Let Us Remember Your First Step: accept your part in Black women feeling insecure and sensitive about their natural hair. Your adoration of long, straight, and especially blonde hair gave Black women a SOCIALLY LEGITIMATE REASON to dislike their natural coily hair. Wanting your adoration, they risked their health, finances, emotions, and reputations trying to make their natural coily hair resemble your adored long, straight, and especially blonde hair. When their natural coily hair failed to mimic your adored long, straight, and especially blonde hair, they developed hair issues even today destructively ruling the emotions of many Black women. With a gigantic RELENTLESS promotional assist from society’s powerful marketing machine,
You Created This Situation!
Oh Yes, YOU!
Her hair issues grew from PARTLY you and MOSTLY society’s marketing machine adoring and promoting long, straight, and especially blonde hair over Black women’s natural coily hair. ACCEPT this truth, ADMIT your wrong doing, FORGIVE yourself for it, and RESOLVE the matter! How must you do that? Simple: accept, approve, adore, and support Black women wearing a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM. Black men, come on now, NO MORE HESITATION, DENIALS, AND REFUSALS! GIVE THEM THE PLEASURE of your acceptance, approval, adoration, and support so they can live a life WITHOUT certain hairstyles and your disapproval damaging their health, finances, emotions, and reputations.
Step #2: vow NEVER AGAIN to belittle her natural coily hair. Erase from your vocabulary disparaging names like “nappy” and “kinky”. Remember, cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself about your past name calling. Society’s powerful marketing machine TRICKED you into adoring long, straight, and especially blonde hair and belittling Black women’s natural coily hair. But, after forgiving yourself, NEVER AGAIN disparage her hair.
The Final Step: accept bald heads, Afros, or SisterlocksTM as the hairstyles BEST becoming Black women, and ENTHUSIASTICALLY make efforts to convince Black women of the same. Black men, with guaranteed success, you can do this. How do I know this? I know this because most Black women, LIKE NO OTHER WOMEN, INTENSELY desire your acceptance, support, approval, and adoration. In fact, many Black women ANXIOUSLY await your well-informed natural haircare opinions and will GRACIOUSLY acknowledge and accept your hairstyle recommendations. This should assure you they will quickly receive you enthusiastically asking and convincing them to wear a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM.
You also may say to yourself, “How Does Making These Adjustments Benefit ME”?
And you wonder why so many Black women emotionally, psychologically, physically, and financially still struggle with hair issues! Well, Mr. Clueless, since you fail to grasp why Black women CONTINUE to wear rollers, scarves, and bonnets to bed, fear rain and wind, avoid swimming, hate riding in convertible vehicles and dining in outdoor restaurants, sleep in awkward but hairstyle-preserving positions, own several shelf and closet-crowding wigs, and bathe with a shower cap, let me describe the benefits you will receive from your adjustments.
BENEFIT #1: GREATER INTIMACY. You will experience greater intimacy since Black women will invite you to touch their faces, heads, and necks and to shower with them without their fear of destroying their hairstyles.
BENEFIT #2: MORE BATHROOM COUNTER SPACE. Your bathroom will appear larger, cleaner, and more organized since smaller number of grooming products will require less storage space.
BENEFIT #3: FEWER GROOMING PRODUCTS MEAN LOWER HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES. Gentlemen, you could EASILY MAKE two extra mortgage payments with the amount of money Black women spend on grooming products for relaxed and curly perm haircare. Their wearing a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM can annually save your household THREE TIMES the money they would spend on relaxed or curly perm hairstyling.
BENEFIT #4: LESS FRUSTRATION WAITING FOR THEM TO GET DRESSED . You will experience less frustration since, like NEVER before with previous hairstyles, Black women’s hair becomes the easiest and least time-consuming part of their getting dressed.
BENEFIT #5: LESS CONCERN FOR PROTECTING THEIR HAIR WHEN FACED WITH UNEXPECTED INCLEMENT WEATHER. Rain, wind, and humidity will NEVER come close to ruining the shape of bald heads, Afros, or SisterlocksTM to the degree those elements ruin the shape of relaxed and curly perm hairstyles.
BENEFIT #6: MORE AVAILABLE WEEKEND TIME WITH YOU. Many Black women spend three to four hours EVERY OTHER Saturday at a salon caring for their relaxed and curly-perm hairstyles. If they choose to wear a bald head or short Afro, they will save between six to eight hours monthly not visiting a salon. That equates at least to six hours of precious weekend time they have available to spend with you.
BENEFIT #7: LESS INTERRUPTED SLEEP. Since your women’s hairstyles will not require nightly wearing of bonnets, scarves, and caps, no longer will the shuffling noises from their head gear interrupt your sleep.
Seven great benefits, JUST FOR YOU! So Black men, what say you? Are not greater intimacy, lower household expenses, better sleep, and more available weekend time worth your efforts to convince Black women to stop wearing relaxed or curly perm hairstyles? Sure it is!
BE BRAVE AND
Convince Black women to wear a bald head, an Afro, or SisterlocksTM and enjoy our discussed benefits and Black women feeling less fearful and more accepted, supported, and beautiful.